Thoughts on meaningful silence
There are lots of big decisions have to make in the near future. And it is, well, unusal, let's say. I genuinely believe that without this blog, or what it means to me, it would be much, much harder. But when your belonging and personality are not dependent on the people around you, you have somewhat more freedom. You are in one place, and external expectations of yourself are in a different place. This just makes everything more flexible. Turns out some questions didn't need to be answered after all.
I want to add something, but I can't really think of anything. There are a lot of things in my head, but I just don't really see the point behind saying them. I mean they are obvious to me, saying them feels like a need of external approval, which I do not really have regarding these particular thoughts. Sometimes everything just is. You don't need to say or acknowledge it. Silence is the most you are willing to do. Any explanations just ruin the point. I guess it is the same phenomenon when an artist tries to explain their art. I do not consider my writing or thoughts such a work of art, but the feeling is similar, for some reason. Everything just is. Some kind of deep existential approval.
I have never analyzed this feeling, though. Maybe I just don't want to question my views on something? It is pretty much possible, but currently I do not see any clear reasons for why they might be wrong, neither do I have that many resources to fully analyse them. I hope I am not getting, well, less sharp with all this postponing, I really consider it necessary at this point.
Thank you.