Thoughts on admitting pain
I dont really want to say this, but it is unbelievabley hard. For some reason in my case the most common reaction when someone has admitted this kind of thing would always be some kind of negligence or dismissal, as if feeling pain is something weak, leave alone talking about it. But it is not virtuous, it is stupid. Yes, you can endure pain, yes emotions are never as urgent as hunger or thirst, but how could this do you any good? It only makes sense when the perception of life is limiting to enduring suffering, which is not really a way of living, it is just survival. It only works when you really do not have anything bigger you want to do, only then you are willing to give yourself up and just make yourself emotionally disabled.
It feels like I am trying to justify myself, but that was not really the point when I was writing it. I am not sure whether that was exactly what I wanted to say, at least it makes some sense. So yeah, today it has turned out to be messy, which is alright, and is rather representative of the state of the writer. At least it is not that scary to appear messy anymore. Thank you.