Thoughts on building something out of nothing
I may have to build something out of nothing. I need some ground to become more active and alive, but I need to become more active and alive to build some ground. I guess I will really have to start building something out of nothing. I am not yet sure how I am going to do that, but this is a starting point.
It is really a kind of situation that is both familiar and unknown. I have been there for a long time, but it did not make anything easier to understand. At first it was just a state of conflict, because I was not feeling or behaving the way I was "supposed to". Then it was the realization that what I was experiencing was valid all along, but it did not really solve the main issue. And after that realization it was just a plateau - I know what is wrong, but what can I do about it? And I guess this is just a part of the experience of life, making something out of nothing. No significant shifts have happened, no clear solutions, no clear ways out. It feels like walking blindfolded. I know that I am essentially repeating the same thought again and again, but it helps me integrate it, it makes it easier to carry.
Overall, I think I am just going to start doing the things I want to do. I think I am going to be bored, tired, confused, it won't be a clear solution, but I just want to do it. I will start today, even though it is not a clear solution... Thank you.